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Dealing With Change As A Realist

I shared recently about my plan to move from Philadelphia to Denver next month. It’s something I’ve been contemplating and talking about for close to 2 years. But that doesn’t make it any easier. When I first moved to Philadelphia, fresh out of college, the first year was tough. I was in a new place with no friends and no connections. Over the first year, I met some wonderful people, found a great job, and a place to call home. But it all took time.

I’m anxious about having to start that process all over again in a new city. I believe I’m most happy when I have deep, meaningful relationships in my life, but those just take time. Seasons need to pass, memories need to be made, favorite spots to eat and drink need to be discovered. Laying the foundation can sometimes leave me feeling lost, and as I prepare to deal with a total upheaval of my life as I know it, I’ve been talking with my therapist on how to process this. I’ve learned a few things about myself along the way, and I’d love to share and hear what you think, and how you’ve dealt with big life changes.

Don’t set yourself up with the mindset that things are going to go horribly wrong.

I consider myself a realist. So when I think of moving to a new city, I remember what it was like when I was new to Philadelphia. It was tough and lonely at times. But going into an experience already expecting a certain outcome inevitably sets you up for that outcome even if it’s one you don’t want. Have an open mind and think positively.

You’re a different person now than before.

That means change will look different, you’ll handle it differently, and process it differently.

Leave space for the chance that things might be easier than you think.

Don’t confuse being a realist with reality. There’s a chance that this move could be exactly what I need. I’ll never be the eternal optimist, but instead of focusing on the (potential) negative, leave room for the positive.

Make plans and a schedule.

I always feel better when I have a game plan. Planning for days to spend time by myself, getting to know my new city, as well as times to invest in relationships and friendships. Having a rhythm to my day, my schedule, my life, gives me a sense of comfort.

Identify what type of loneliness you feel and enact strategies to help you cope.

I got this tip from this post by Gretchen Rubin. I’ve always been semi-fascinated by loneliness and it’s important to realize what you’re struggling in order to make the situation better.

Realize this is only a season in time.

Just like my first year in Philadelphia passed and resulted in a wonderful life here in Philly, so will the first year in Denver pass. In a way, I’m more looking forward to my second and third year in Denver when I’ll have a life established with friendships and connections.

Research is comforting.

As I’m gearing up for the big move, I’ve done a lot of research on the internet about how to move across the state, how to create a home in a foreign place, how to create community, and how to cope with the loss that comes with leaving everything you know behind. Hearing other people’s strategies and experience has been a huge comfort to me.

What helps you to deal with life changes?




  • Day two of a fever and bad cold. I’m not a fan of being down and out. Makes me feel unproductive and like I’m getting behind. The only thing I’m catching up on is more episodes of Call the Midwife. 🤷🏼‍♀️
  • Scenes like this fill me up.

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  • Ideal Friday afternoon.

It’s funny...the more flexibility I’ve had with my schedule since working from home, the more productive I am and the happier I am. Since I work in a creative field, I think it’s pretty much essential to have a flexible schedule rather than be chained to a desk 10 hours a day. Helps me produce better work. Would you ever want to #workfromhome?
  • Today I'm stopping work early to go see my nephews! AH can't wait to hug them, be silly with them, and spend some time out on the water tomorrow for an early Father's Day celebration. Kids are the best, especially when they're not your own and you get the easy fun  parts. Ammiright?? PS - This is Sunny, aka SunBun. And yes, I'm constantly singing "you are my sunshine" to him on repeat. all day. every day.

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  • I started traveling with Jax after having a panic attack in the Philadelphia airport. I was that person crying in the corner with a bag of McDonald's nuggets, desperately trying to calm down. Not my best look lol. So this dude has become my travel companion and is just the sweetest snuggler there ever was. Do you travel with your dog?

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  • Loving these crisp spring mornings when I can have my coffee outside with the pups 😊
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